Monday, February 11, 2013

Q & A Monday: Personal Quirks and Habits

Hey, y'all.

Last Monday evening, I got a phone call from my close friend Nigel.  It was an unexpected phone call informing me that another great friend of ours had passed away that morning.  It has been a tough week dealing with the loss of such an amazing person as our dear Manuel.  I've tried to stay pretty busy.  I knew I wanted to make Nigel a photo book of Manuel as a gift, so I started collecting pictures and helping Nigel with things he needed.

Yesterday, we held a memorial for our close knit group at ours (and Manuel's) favorite Drunch place. (Drunch = Drunken Brunch)  We all donned tiaras and boas in honor of Manuel, drank, talked, ate, and played some fun group games.  It was a fun memorial celebrating a life that ended far too soon.  I know he was there in spirit, enjoying the laughs and feeling the love we all have for him.


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It is time again for Friend Makin' Monday.  If you have a blog, I would like to invite you to answer the questions as well.  Leave me a comment here, so I know you are playing.  Then you can also leave a comment over at All The Weigh, so other folks can check out your answers as well.  It is a fun way to connect to other bloggers.


 Personal Quirks and Habits

1. Share one unique character trait that sets you apart from your friends.
Hmmm, oh gosh.  I have some wonderful friends who I share various things in common with, so I'm not sure what sets me apart necessarily.  I have a sense of creativity that allows me to express myself in ways that are different than my friends, perhaps.  And maybe my perseverance in the face of things which some people may feel they wouldn't be able to handle.

2. List at least two pet peeves that always aggravate you.
Ignorance in its many forms (racism, homophobia, just being dumb, etc.) and poor manners.

3. Is there a word or phrase that you say so regularly that people expect to hear it from you?
Fabulous!/ Aye chihuahua! / daaaahling

4. Are you a risk taker, or do you typically play it safe?
Play it safe. I like to be slow and steady and follow the rules.

5. Describe your life as it was in high school. Are you the same person? Have you changed?
Ugh, high school was awful.  I went to three different high schools because we had to move around.  I have always been "the fat girl", so as you can imagine, many of the idiot kids made fun of me.  It was really hard for me to make friends at the new schools.  I basically did my homework all afternoon/evening - day after day.  The friends I did have were wonderful.  I loved drama class and choir and had some amazing teachers as well.  But when I think about high school, I mostly remember the feeling of dread every day I'd have to go to school.
There are parts of my personality that are similar, but I have changed a lot since then.  I'm more opinionated, have more self-confidence, and speak up more often than I did in high school.

6. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done that you’re glad you did?
When I was 20, I decided to move away from home for the first time - 3,000 miles away.  I saved up my money, bought my plain ticket, packed up my room, and didn't tell my mom and stepdad until a month before it happened.  I moved in with two of my friends, having only $300 in my pocket.
Even though all my luggage got lost in transit and I had to use my little bit of funds to buy clothing and underwear and toiletries, it was still the best thing I have ever done for myself.

And, on a lighter note, pushing my honeymoon back a week so I could see NKOTB in concert in 2008 was pretty darn awesome too. lol

7. Do you ever talk to yourself? If so, share an example.
Of course.  I always have a running monologue in my head.  I'd say a majority of it is reminding myself of things I need to do, and the rest is probably interview type scenarios about some event or person in my life that is bothering me.  Otherwise, I talk to my fur kids, make up voices for them to talk back to me, and sing any song and change the lyrics so it is about chihuahuas.

8. Share something you did that unexpectedly helped shape your life.
It all shapes one's life, doesn't it?  I could say moving around a lot unexpectedly allowed me to be more informed and more intelligent than my peers. I could say that moving across the country when I was 20 helped me start to become an independent woman and see how great the world could be when I make my own rules and no longer live in a negative household.  I could say that standing up to my mother allowed me to see how truly flawed and selfish she is.  She can't be the mother I want her to be and that has been a tough lesson to learn.  Accepting a blind date led me to my husband.  He's my best friend and helped me achieve some long-awaited dreams.  The list goes on and on....

9. Do you follow a strict routine, or are you a free spirit? Are you somewhere in between?
I suppose I am somewhere in between?  I don't necessarily have a strict routine, although this year I would like to have a more planned schedule to keep me on track with things I want to get done.

10. Share something about yourself that you hope will inspire others.
Hmmmm, I'm not really sure what to say as I feel I have a few stories I could share.  But maybe I will share this: I grew up being bullied about my weight and appearance my entire life.  It wasn't just idiotic school children who said nasty things about me, it was also a lot of family members.  My mom especially hated me for not looking like the daughter she wanted.  When she wasn't picking apart my weight, it was about my skin or hair or personality or dreams.  I was never, ever good enough and she let me know it.  I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that, unfortunately.
I still have crappy days when nasty things people said to me seep back into my brain, but I now dedicate a majority of my time into helping other people feel good about themselves.  It is important to me because I never had that growing up.  It doesn't matter your size, weight, height, or whatever.  You are beautiful, wonderful, fabulous, and spectacular. Truly loving yourself is the best gift you can give to you.

Now it's your turn! Link up here and with  Kenlie to share your answers.  I hope you all have a Happy Monday and a Fabulous week.

8 comments :

  1. That is horrible that you lost a friend, but I love the tribute.

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  2. First off, so sorry to read of the loss you and your friends are going through. Based on what you wrote and the pic you shared Manuel was a very special person and what a great group of friends you have. I couldn’t agree more that a memorial should include fun times celebrating the life that was lived despite it being so hard to deal with the loss.

    Secondly, you are such a brave soul to share so much in the quirks and habits post. I definitely need to start working “aye Chihuahua” into more conversations! J

    Your #10 definitely struck a chord with me this morning. Being an only child of a mother that is twice divorced I always prided myself on having a good, strong relationship with her. I gave up a lot in high school, college and even post college so I could stay close and help her through her 2nd of the two divorces and some mental health issues that she was going through. Until 6 months ago I would have said she was one of my best friends. However, that has drastically changed ever since I announced my engagement. It is almost like overnight she has turned on me and can’t be happy for my fiancé and me, despite being in a 10 year relationship herself (back with her highschool sweetheart) and supposedly loving my choice of fiancé. It is a bitter pill to swallow especially after having such a strong relationship for 33 years. Reading that someone else has a less than ideal relationship with their mother helped me deal with it a bit. At least I had 33 good years . . . okay, sorry to make that all about me, but thanks for letting me vent on your blog! I really do appreciate you sharing your story – sometimes blogs don’t seem very real because most just share the good despite there sometimes being so much bad in our lives.

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  3. The celebration for your friend is beautiful! What a great person he must have been!


    Good for you for making your life as wonderful as you want it to be! {[applause}}


    stopping in from FMM - hi!!

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  4. Thank you. I think I will do a post about it soon. I think I'm still in shock though. We are attending a more traditional memorial on Saturday.

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  5. Thank you, Lisa, and thanks for stopping by. Manuel was truly a wonderful man. I am so happy we got to spend such fun times with him. i know he would have loved every minute of our memorial for him. :-)

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  6. Hi, Kimberly.

    Thank you so much for your kind words. Manuel was definitely a special person. It was pretty nice to be able to get together with our close group to have some fun in celebrating him. There is a more traditional memorial on Saturday, but doing something fun was such a relief. And to be in the company of others mourning the loss of him helped all of us, I think.

    There is always room for more chihuahua anything! If we lived closer to each other, our furkids would have to have a chihuahua play date. Calli Emma is such a cutie pie.

    Oh mothers. I can so relate to what you've written as well. My relationship with my mom has always been a bit rocky in parts. Sometimes good and sometimes bad. There was even a handful of years where we were great friends and hung out together often. We weren't on exceptionally good terms when I got engaged, but I still expected her to be happy for me. I called her the night I got engaged and left her a voicemail to call me back, saying it was important. We worked at the same place, so the next morning I ran into her in the break room and asked her if she received my message. She had. I told her I had something important to tell her and she rolled her eyes and said, "You must be engaged, huh?"

    I smiled, despite her tone, and said yes, showed her the ring. I was giddy with excitement. All she said was "Oh, congratulations." She was not excited. She did not hug me. There was nothing sincere or positive in her voice. One day she even told her 3rd husband (she's on her 4th one now) to look at my ring. Then she rolled her eyes and acted all snotty. It continued like that for quite some time. She didn't do much to help with the wedding either. When I found my dress, she was there. My sister-in-law, mother-in-law, and I were all in tears and she was just smirking. It just didn't feel like it meant anything to her, or like I meant anything to her. She was supposed to help me sew the vests and ties for my husband and bridesman. I asked her several times to help me since I was new to sewing. On the day she was supposed to come pick up the patterns and material, she showed up at the door with her boyfriend's old dirty sewing machine and said I could use that for my projects. And when I had a wine and cheese party for my girlfriends so we could put together my invitations, she got wasted and punched holes on the wrong side of almost all of them. I had to totally remake about 60 of my invites.

    I know my mom is a selfish person and loves to play the victim in any scenario. I know her hatred for me stems from jealousy at times, so sometimes that helps me understand. But it doesn't make it easier. (I wrote more about my relationship with my mom in a blog post last year: http://www.divinemrsdiva.com/2012/09/thankfulness-thursdays-week-7.html. I don't know if that would be helpful to you, but it gives some more insight into things.)


    I hope that your mom wises up and can be happy for you and share the happiness of this time in your life. I know it is really hard otherwise. Maybe I should have emailed all this to you, but you can vent to me any time. If you ever need to talk, my email address is diva@divinemrsdiva.com.

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  7. Good to see your FMM Hailey, check out mine: http://fattofiguregirl.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/friend-makin-mondays-on-a-tuesday/

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  8. Amy @ Delightfully ShrinkingFebruary 13, 2013 at 11:08 AM

    First time visitor stopping by for FMM (a little late!). I'm sorry to hear about your friend. :( I love the way you memorialized his life, though. On a lighter note, when I moved away from home for the first time and went far away, also! Yay for adventure! I did my FMM, too. http://delightfullyshrinking.com/2013/02/friend-makin-monday-personal-quirks/

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