I've been a bit obsessed with everything Torrid lately. I cannot get enough of their new crop of arrivals (which they update *almost* on the daily). I love the cheery colors and patterns, cute but casual aesthetic, and thinking on spring fashion. I've recently made quite a few purchases at Torrid, including this striped dress and lots of sexy undies. (Let me know if you want a review of those.) Today I will be reviewing this rosy top and reflecting a little on why these photos almost went straight to my trash bin, and why I let them stay.
First up, let's talk about this Floral Babydoll Tunic! The color scheme is different for me in that it is more pastel and muted in tone. Yet it is a pretty and romantic color combination that made me take notice. I love babydoll styles because they tend to accentuate my bust and skim over my tummy. I read the reviews on the website before purchasing, choosing to take reviewers' advice and size down to a 2 in this top. (I normally wear a 3 at Torrid.) As sizing goes, I think sizing down was a good thing to do. The arms and bust area are a bit more fitted on me, but the bottom portion of the top is not overwhelmed with fabric. The knit material is soft and stretchy, flowing and hanging nicely on my body. I can definitely wear this in the summer with shorts and take it on travels without worrying too much about ironing and such. (For reference, I am 5'9", wear a 42B bra, and my measurements are 52/49/58.)
The tunic length doesn't feel too long and hits at a good place front and back. The larger scoop neck provides a nice, open neckline, while the gathered skirted portion of the top isn't too bulky. No dreaded "pregnant look".
The top made me feel very feminine and romantic and cheerful. I wore it out to the Portland Wine and Seafood Fest, our favorite event of the year. It gets pretty warm with the crowds at the convention center and all the wine consumption. I stayed somewhat cool, comfortable, and felt very cute in this ensemble. My Lane Bryant skinny jeans, nude Propet flats, and a few sparkly accessories rounded out the girly look.
As much as I love this outfit and felt pretty in it, I almost scrapped these pictures and this post altogether. As an advocate for body positivity, loving yourself, and embracing you just as you are, I hate admitting that I have moments or days when I feel like crap about myself. Since getting rid of so much negative in my life, those times are few and far between anymore. But they still happen.
When I uploaded these photos from my camera to take a look at them, I immediately started picking myself apart. The lighting isn't the best. The slightly below my chin angle isn't great. I felt like my skin looked bad; and I have bags under my eyes from lack of sleep and the family stresses I was dealing with last week. All I saw were flaws and things that made me less than perfect. I freaked out and cried and vowed that no one would see these photos - ever!
My mind tends to go into those kinds of anxiety and panic when I'm stressed. Between the aforementioned family matters and playing phone tag with my doctor's office to set up another check-up for my thyroid cancer, I have been pretty stressed the past couple of weeks. It shouldn't have been a surprise that I had a freak out. (By the way, the check-up is just a normal one to keep tabs on things. There aren't any issues that point to a recurrence. But tell that to my anxiety!)
After a day or two, I came back and looked at the photos. This time I felt better about them, accepting the bad lighting and dark circles. This is me. I'm not perfect. I'm a normal human being. And that is okay. I'm trying to learn that I don't have to have the best hair day or perfect makeup day or perfect outfit or perfect lighting or a perfect smile or perfect skin to be seen by others. Nor do any of those things dictate my value.
I think I have talked with some of you about how I am the person that never leaves the house without being dressed in something cute, accessorizing, doing my hair, wearing a full face of makeup. Part of it is because I like the ritual of being girly. I like picking out outfits and playing with makeup and doing my hair. It also makes me feel like me, makes me feel confident and happy. But I also think I strive for perfection so much because, for so much of my life, my mom always told me I wasn't good enough. Nothing was ever good enough. As much progress as I have made in my mindset, sometimes I forget just how ingrained those negative messages are when it is all I heard growing up. Sometimes I forget that those things have an affect on me to this day.
Floral Hi-Lo Babydoll Tunic - Torrid
Skinny Jean with TTT - Lane Bryant
Cicely Flat - c/o Propet USA
Olivia Crossbody - Charming Charlie
Swarovski Aline Pendant Necklace - Gift from my mother-in-law (similar)
How do you get through your bouts of insecurity? Do you have any favorites from the new arrivals at Torrid? Have you made a purchase there recently? I'd love to hear about what you bought!