I was back on KATU's Afternoon Live to talk about something I'm super passionate about - lingerie looks and feeling good in the skin you're in! I share my tips for working on your body confidence and show you a variety of lingerie looks to get you in the mood!
Enjoy the segment and let me know where you love to shop for lingerie and/or your tips for feeling good in your body!
Enjoy the segment and let me know where you love to shop for lingerie and/or your tips for feeling good in your body!
- I bought the items in this post. All opinions presented are my own and without influence. This post contains affiliate links and I make a small commission if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.
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Before we get started, I am 5'9", typically wear a 22/24, wear a 40B bra, a size 11 wide shoe, and my measurements are 52/49/58.
Featured In This Segment
Before I get into all the links and info on the lingerie, I want to expand upon my tips for working on your confidence.
- First, working on your mindset on how you view your body, especially when we are constantly being bombarded with the toxic messaging that we need to hate our bodies, is hard work.
- Healing and working on ourselves is not linear. Hell, being confident in our bodies and looking at them with love isn't even linear, meaning it isn't something on one trajectory from "bad" to "good". There are setbacks. There are bad days, even when you feel like you've made huge strides. Don't let this deter you.
- I know that my encouraging you to take photos of yourself may seem like the opposite of what you want or think you should do. I know it seems scary to a lot of people. I honestly never thought taking lingerie photos and naked photos of myself would lead to me loving my body more and becoming more okay with the parts of me that I have hated on my whole life. But it has done just that and that is why I'm sharing this tip with you.
- This activity isn't about the lingerie. You can wear your regular panties and a bra. You can wear your favorite tee and leggings. You can wear jeans and a sweater. The main thing about being in lingerie is that you can see your body. So if you aren't comfortable starting there, just start somewhere. Just deciding to try it out is a good step.
- While the lingerie isn't the most important part of this, I encourage the lingerie because I know what a valuable tool it has been in making me more confident in my body. I love how sexy it makes me feel. And when you feel sexy, you carry yourself different. You move different. You smile different. And I want you to see the difference in what you think you know of yourself and what you feel about yourself when you feel hot and sexy and pretty and cool and fun and adventurous.
Start your body love practice!
Look for example photos at the end of this post
- Get some time alone to yourself. It doesn't have to be a huge amount of time. 20 to 30 minutes is probably ideal, but again just start. Just try.
- Choose a space or room in your house where you can be alone. If you travel a lot, hotel rooms are GREAT for practicing this self-love technique.
- Play some tunes that make you feel sexy. If you need a place to start, here is my sexy time playlist on Spotify.
- Get your lighting ready. I don't like overhead lights for this. Think soft lighting, candlelight, diffused daylight from a window. I usually take my photos in my bathroom, which only has a skylight far above the main ceiling. I have been using a more diffused backlight, this nebula lamp, and color-changing ring light for my photos. This selfie ring light is pretty strong too and may be your preference.
- Set up your camera. I just use my phone camera and lean it against wherever I can find a good angle I like. You can also use something like a Joby, which is a tripod with flexible legs that can wrap around handles or stand up on a surface. I find the flexible legs helpful if I need a specific angle when I'm using my shower as my photo studio, or if I am taking photos while the shower is on. (Yes, I've taken full-on shower photos in the nude for my practice.)
- Make sure your 10-second photo timer is on, though I eventually got a Bluetooth remote I could hold in my hand and press the button. When you are sprawled on your bed in a particular pose that you've been working on, you do not want to have to get up every 15 seconds to go press your phone button before you hurriedly jump back into position.
- Now is the super fun part! Start posing! Smile, do a sexy face, show that booty, lift that leg, use your clothing or props. If you need some posing inspiration, look at boudoir-related hashtags on social media or search for posing guides. Remember, these photos are just for YOU, unless you choose to share them with someone else. In starting, just let them be for you. When you go into it knowing no one else will see them, I think it lends a freedom to what you are doing and you won't censor yourself or second-guess yourself as much.
- If you want to brighten your face or play with lighting digitally, apps like Snapseed are great for photo-editing.
- When you are done, look at the photos. Look at them with the mindset that you are helping your best friend pick out photos she looks good in. Don't judge harshly. Be gentle with yourself. Think of all your body has accomplished and continues to do on a daily basis. Acknowledge what you love. What poses are your favorite? What facial expressions do you think you nailed? It's okay to acknowledge the things you don't like, but not in a harsh and critical way.
- At this point, when I look back at my photos I might say things like, 'oooh, the curve of my butt looks so good in this one,' or 'I wish I had put my chin down a little farther,' or 'I'd like to work on toning my thighs, but I love how strong my legs look here'. But also I love seeing when my lingerie fits my body well and highlights my curves, or when my hair looks sexy and messy, or when my eyes sparkle with mischief.
- Sometimes you may have to wait a few days before you look at the photos so that you aren't immediately critical of yourself. I still have to do this sometimes.
- Then save your favorites in a folder on your phone, delete them, or send them to some lucky person who gets to see you shining.
- Repeat this process any chance you get! Get creative with your clothing, poses, angles, lighting. Have fun with it.
What I Wore:
Sweetheart Skater Dress - Torrid- This dress and the whole look I styled around can be found on the blog.
Lingerie Look 1
Stella Satin Chemise - Hips & Curves
- A chemise is a great way to go if you are feeling a bit self-conscious and want a place to start. There are so many pretty options and styles to choose from. This is more of a slip style with gorgeous eyelash lace, but there are also styles that show off your bust and skim away from the body. Sometimes they are sheer or partly sheer. It's all about what you feel the most confident in.
- I'm wearing a XXL, which equals a 24 at City Chic, which is the company that now owns Hips & Curves. I find their 24 to fit pretty true-to-size and have had luck with their B-cup bras as well.
Floral Robe - Lane Bryant
- Lane Bryant is one of my go-to places to check for pretty robes to match my lingerie.
Lingerie Look 2
Emily Lace Teddy - Hips & Curves
- This is the first teddy I have ever owned and, honestly, I didn't think I was going to like it on me. If it wasn't completely see-through, I would share a photo so you could see it on. It's easy to get into (and out of) and makes me feel very sexy.
Lingerie Look 3
Strappy Bra & High-Waist Panty Set - Torrid
- While this particular set is no longer available, Torrid has a variety of high-waisted panties and matching bras.
- A high-waist panty has more coverage and often provides a more classic/vintage silhouette. I like the way this style enhances the curve of my hips.
Lingerie Look 4
Sparkle Bomber Jacket - Ava & Viv via Target- This jacket is one I have had a while, but it provides a way for me to show you how you can incorporate "regular clothes" into this to add a little something to your ensemble. Items like jackets/scarves/robes can give you something to play with as you take photos. Drape them over your shoulder. Pull one shoulder down. Play with the zipper. Etc.
Silver Logo Band Bralette & Hipster - Hips & Curves
Shimmer Bralette - Lane Bryant
- Because I'm a plus-sized lady with a small bust, I really love the bralette options available. Most lingerie with underwire is way too big in the cup for me.
Ribbed Crop Tank - Hips & Curves
- Cropped tanks, off-shoulder tops, and cardigans can all be fun additions to your look. Target has had some cute 90s-inspired cropped tanks that I've bought for outfits like this.
- For example, the brand Wild Fable has these ribbed sweater tank tops that I love for adding to a lingerie look.
Cherry Garter Panty - Lane Bryant
- Garter panties are great for that garter look without the extra layers. Some also have removable straps for changing up the look.
Strappy Leg Garters - Uye Surana
- This brand was new to me until recently. They go up to a 4X, which is a 24 with them.
- If you don't like thigh high stockings or can't get them to stay put, leg garters are another sexy option.
- If you do like thigh high stockings but feel like they always ride down, try Kixies! They have silicone backing on the thigh band and stay put for me.
Photo Examples
Now, I'm someone that doesn't just like to encourage you to do things, I like to show you that I am also doing the thing I am encouraging you to do. I decided that this post needed these examples so you would a) know I practice what I preach, and b) have some images to put with the words if you need ideas to start.- These do NOT have to be Instagram-worthy. They are just for you (again, unless you choose to share them, which is also fine).
- They don't need to be fancy or complicated. It can truly be just as simple as a selfie, especially to start.
- I literally have almost 1,500 "sexy photos" of myself saved on my phone. That doesn't include the boudoir shoots I've done. So I am only showing you a very small percentage, mostly because most of them are too scandalous for this blogging platform and they might remove them. Most of my favorites are actually the ones where I am completely nude. And I'm very proud of the fact that I would totally show them to you in the name of art and confidence and helping other womxn, but again, I don't want my blog shut down. (Also want to add, I think this practice can be beneficial to all genders & sexualities.)
- So here are a few photos for examples of what I'm talking about, photos from the last 3 years or so. These were taken in my bathroom, my bedroom, & a couple of hotel rooms from trips.
Are you going to take my advice? Have you done this already?
How has taking photos changed the way you see yourself?
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